Jokes :

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain ,
"Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would
happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood ,

"Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste
away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"

Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs,

"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes,

"Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum

"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum

And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days,

the brain had a terrible headache,

the stomach was bloated,

the legs got wobbly,

the eyes got watery,

and the blood Was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The asshole is usually in charge !!

7 ways to catch a lion



7 ways to catch a lion.



1. Newton's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion .



2. Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also

run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.



3. Schrodinger Method:

At any given moment, there is a positive probability

that lion to be in the cage.

So set the trap, sit down and wait!



4. Inverse Transformation Method

We place a spherical cage in the forest

and enter it.

Perform an inverse transformation with

respect to lion.

Lion is in and we are out.



5. Thermodynamic Procedure:

We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows

every thing to pass it except lions.

Then sweep the entire forest with it.



6. Integration Differention Method:

Integrate the forest over the entire area.

The lion is some where in the result.

So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion

to trace out the lion.



7. The Banta's Method:

DON'T EVEN TRY. YOU'LL GET CAUGHT BY THE LION. 

IT developer in projects



Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team

now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen

for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals


promise not to trouble the other employees.



Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very

hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has

disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The

cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss

has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you

idiots ate the developer?"



One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of

the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team

leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything,

and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please

don't eat a person who is working."